Dr. Viviana discusses sexual wellness, self pleasure, and relationship advice on The Wellbeing Wanderer Podcast.
Listen to the full episode here.
In today’s episode of The Wellbeing Wanderer Podcast Kat talks to Dr Viviana Coles, a Doctor of marriage and family therapy, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist. This is a fun conversation all about sexual wellness, relationships and self pleasure.
Key points covered in todays episode:
• Dr Viviana shares how she got into the field of relationship and sex therapy, stemming back to when she was a child and witnessed her parents honest and positive relationship which sparked her curiosity.
• How sex improves our wellbeing including lowered stroke and heart conditions, reduced stress and the psychological component of sex that helps you feel less alone as you are able to connect to yourself and others.
• The stigma and shame around sex and that when we deny pleasure we are denying access to a part of ourselves. Without honouring and nurturing the sexual part of ourselves we are not truly living as we should as humans.
• The various areas of where the negativity around sex comes from and how we have been psychologically shamed into feeling this way and that we need to break down the negative barriers in order to fully embrace and thrive in our romantic relationships.
• The emotional conduct that should take place in a sexual experience and how casual hook ups are satisfying when the four intimacy styles are present. There needs to be a level of respect, care and consideration for one another.
• How communication is the key element to a successful physical and emotional relationship and being able to honestly express concerns, what your physical and emotional needs are and being willing to listen to your partner.
• The understanding that people change and grow so the person you meet today and the person you are right now will change so in a relationship you must be willing to adapt, communicate and grow together so that you don’t grow apart.
• There is no such thing as sexual incompatibility, if you are able to round out your intimacy style and get bonding, giving, release and responsiveness from each of your sexual experiences it’s this that creates sexual compatibility which is in it’s truest essence, satisfaction.
• The most common issue in relationships which is when you and your partner are on different sexual timescales, when one person wants sex and the other does not but that quality is actually more important than quantity.
• What to do when you enter the ‘roommate’ phase of the relationship and it feels like you are just friends living together or it starts becoming toxic.
• The benefits of sex toys, when to use them, why you should use them, the health benefits of having regular orgasms and arousal. Having options can take the pressure off of men and create new sexual experiences that add new flavour and spice to the sex you have.
• Dr Viviana indulges Kat in some fun intimate personal questions about her sexual side.
